Decoding The Adolescent Brain

Flashback to 16, when my friend and I set out for an unforgettable night on Mount Marquette - tucked into the woods, it was the ultimate hangout spot overlooking our small town. The bass boomed through our bodies and blared through open car windows, and as more friends joined, we reveled in pushing boundaries and asserting our independence. 

As expected, every teenage adventure has its limits. That night, our escapade led us deep into the woods, stuck in the mud, way past curfew. With spinning tires and a sinking feeling, I reluctantly dialed my dad for a rescue mission.

I was met with “What were you thinking? Did you even think?” Or maybe it was, “How could you be so careless?” All I remember is it was one of those typical parent statements after a risky teenage decision.

Now, before we dismiss teenage antics as mere rebellion, let's dive into the fascinating world of the adolescent brain and how we can use this knowledge to navigate those “stuck in the woods moments” with your teen. 

Myth: Teens Don’t Think Before They Act 

Contrary to popular belief, research suggests that teens do think before they act. However, their brains weigh pros and cons differently than adults. While adults tend to focus on the negative outcomes, teens prioritize the positive ones. My teenage brain was busy calculating the thrill of the drive, the adventure with friends, and exploring new terrain, overshadowing the potential pitfalls of getting lost, stuck, and missing curfew. And yes, this thinking style comes with risk! So parents, use this information to help your teen think through the whole picture, weighing all of the outcomes. 

Myth: Teens Don’t Care About Anything! 

It’s not that teenagers don’t care. In fact, their brain development ensures intense passion and emotional intensity – something most adults lose as we age. But what they care about isn't always what we want them to care about. What can you do about this? Help them channel their passion and emotion into something productive; become a part of it (maybe you’ll even renew your own emotional spark!).  

Teens Are Wired To Challenge You

Adolescence marks a period where teens begin to perceive their parents as real individuals, complete with flaws. Researchers propose that this wiring propels them out of the parental nest and into the world, fostering the independence necessary to carve out a space of their own. This wiring encourages teens to challenge ideas and even do the opposite of what's suggested. At 16, my mom disapproved of my music, and my response? I played it even more. Interestingly, life has a funny way of coming full circle; I now find myself enjoying the very tunes my mom loves. So, rest assured, this challenging phase is deeply rooted in their biology and won't last forever.

Teens Are Wired To Change Culture 

Adolescents are wired to seek novelty and challenge the status quo. Remember the rock and roll days? Older generations fought this hard, but the teens of the time changed the cultural landscape, regardless. And what about today’s teens challenging and changing the cultural landscape of gender identity? Many adults are fighting this one hard. But adolescents remain the powerful catalysts for cultural revolution.

The adult brain tends to crave familiarity, unlike the teenage brain that hungers for novelty. And when teens try to change our comfy world, adults feel uneasy. But here’s the thing, if adults fight these fundamental features of adolescence, it’s like fighting against the natural push of a waterfall. The force of adolescence will find some way to manifest itself, regardless of what the adults do. 

Don’t Fight The Teenage Brain - Use It! 

So rather than opposing your teen's natural inclination to charge forward with emotional intensity or challenge you and the world, Dr. Dan Siegal, author of "Brainstorm," suggests a more constructive approach. Let's provide our teens with opportunities to channel their biological drive into innovative ideas, be it addressing global issues like world hunger or simply reimagining a failed chore system at home. By guiding their energy toward positive change, we empower adolescents to become architects of a better world.

In Partnership with Hurdles in Heels